Kirdaar short film - short review: Mukesh Chhabra gives a memorable performance as a struggling theater actor

-->

Let me warm you up to this piece by showing you the trailer of Swati Semwal's short film that features my bossman, mentor, elder brother - Mukesh Chhabra.

In what can perhaps be called as a delicious twist of role swapping, actor-director Swati Semwal has cast Mukesh Chhabra, the casting director, the man who has cast her in many films. Semwal’s short film, ‘Kirdaar’ is the journey of a struggling theater actor, Aman who commits himself to his role so completely that it isn’t even safe – not for him or his loving wife, Aditi (played unimaginably brilliantly by Pooja A Gor).

The popular perception of theater actors is that they will not shy away from going to any length to do justice to the characters they play. ‘Kirdaar’ is a dangerous extension of the same thought. Given it’s runtime of less than 20-minutes, the director does a great job of saying more by showing less. To top it, the performances feel so heartfelt, one is already rooting for either Aman or Aditi – or even Aashiqa, the character Aman is essaying.

Given the fact that Chhabra is the most sought-after casting director in Hindi cinema, agreeing to essay this twisted character is a really bold step – nowhere close to his or anyone else’s comfort zone. While watching ‘Kirdaar’ it is evident that Chhabra has internalized his years of experience of interacting with theater artists of various backgrounds. Pooja Gor does justice to her role has the wife who is at the receiving end of her husband’s creative endeavors.

I am really paranoid, if my loving wife, Rani, God forbid, ever had to go through this trauma.

Director Swati Semwal must be appreciated for documenting a theater actor’s journey in a way that keeps you hooked all the way. Director of photography, Syed Tanveer Riaz and the editors - Jayant H. Verma and Akash Malame have done a great job too. Watching ‘Kirdaar’ might leave you asking for more, but that’s perhaps the biggest victory of the director and her entire cast and crew.

Watch the full film here:

Also, happy birthday to me!   

Script of the first Ugly trailer spoof

Ugly spoof

A Keyrun Rao original inspired by this:

Opening: Gfx

Darawna Motion Pictures

Fuh se fuck you

Fade in.

Scene 1

Abhishek to Matthew on phone:

Ek narration ke liye jaa raha hoon, chalega kya saath?

Nahin to main Kartik ko bula loonga

Scene 2

In car

Abhishek to Matthew:

Yaar 2mins ruk, chashma banwaane diya hai… lekar aata hoon

Matthew spots Abhishek’s latest script ‘Nakli’ on the car’s backseat

Scene 2-A

Cut to:

A frantic Abhishek looking for Matthew around Araam Nagar / Yari Rd. asking people

Ek kaala aadmi meri script lekar bhaag gaya… aapne dekha usey? Kurta pehna hua tha…

Scene 2-B

Cut to:

Abhishek spots a kurta wearing guy with a script in his hand… He chases him like a maniac. He finally manages to catch him, punches him only to find out it was somebody else…

Close up of the mistaken guy’s script titled ‘Doga ka kya hoga?’

Scene 3

Cut to FWA (Film Writers’ Assn.) office, where Abhishek has come to complain about absconding Matthew

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Bahut bada hero hai… unregistered script ko aise hi gaadi mein chhod ke jaata hai…

Naam kya hai tera?

Abhishek to FWA chief / officer:

Abhishek Pandey

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Yahaan toh Sadabahaar likha hai

Abhishek to FWA chief / officer:

Sir industry ke log aise hi karte hain, ghar pe ek naam aur parde ke liye doosra naam…

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Kyon? Amitabh bachchan ka kya hai naam ghar pe?

(Laughter)

SCENE 4

Cut to:

Phone rings

Voiceover: Script waapas chahiye toh 12 hazaar ka intezaam kar…

Scene 5

Cut away shots of a worried Abhishek who then calls his friend:

Abhishek to his friend on phone:

Yaar hum kisi se 12 hazaar udhaar nahin le sakte kya?

Abhishek’s friend replies:

Dekh hum writer log hain, apne ko kaun udhaar dega? Woh tera co-writer hai na, Kartik, usko bol, who ya toh paise dega ya Matthew ko kahin na kahin se dhoondh nikaalega… BKFPL mein hai na who?

Scene-6

Enter Kartik

Cut away shots of a worried Kartik twirling a ciggy in his fingers

Abhishek & Kartik are sitting in their study room, too brain fucked… Abhishek’s phone rings… Kartik picks up

It’s Matthew on the phone

Tera script tujhko waapas chahiye to 12 hazaar

SCENE -7

Screen splits where producers offering peanuts for their script.

1^st guy: 3 hazaar

2^nd guy: 5 hazaar

3^rd guy: 7 hazaar

4^th guy: 10 hazaar

Random montage shots of tired Kartik & Abhishek looking for absconding Matthew

Scene -8

Cut to:

Kartik-Abhishek’s work-space

Kartik to Abhishek

Paise tere ko hi chahiye na saale? Pichhle mahiney ke rent ka share due hai

Kartik then pushes Abhishek off his chair & Abhishek falls sloppily

Montage shots of heated argument between Kartik & Abhishek

Cut to:

Kartik to Abhishek on phone:

Tera script hai to mera bhi script hai bhenc**d

SCENE -9

Producer to Kartik:

Signing amount le li hai, script kab doge tum log?

Scene-10

Worried Abhishek driving around in his car

Text on screen:

When the writer getS desperate

The desperate writer gets nasty / creepy / evil / monstrous / lonely / miserable / greedy

NAKLI

Fade out.

HAIDER: Who knew a tragedy like this could be THIS gorgeous?

It has just been a few hours since I watched Vishal Bhardwaj's latest offering - Haider. I am still spellbound by what I watched. To write or not to write was the question for a long while, but there is no other way I know to restore my sanity, than to write about it. As always, this isn't a review of Haider, but some thoughts of mine that have been making me crazy since the moment I stepped out of the screening earlier this evening. My current state of mind is like that of a flooded Kashmir. So many thoughts waiting to burst out and make sense at the same time. As difficult as making a film like this, don't you think?

Me with Vishalji, I am the guy in the
white shirt with hands in my pocket.

 I have not read Shakespeare's Hamlet, but I have just ordered for it on Flipkart, now. The genius of Vishalji is that it didn't matter if I have read the source of his masterpiece. It just didn't matter. Just like it didn't matter when I came out after watching Omkara and Maqbool. Frankly speaking, I really don't get the language employed by beloved 'Shekhu uncle'. But I do understand the universe Vishalji creates every single time. Before watching Haider I just had a vague idea of the sorry state of affairs in Kashmir. But tonight I shall weep for all my Kashmiri brethren.

Getting back to the thoughts Haider triggered in my head. My previous landlord was a loaded guy; perhaps one of the richest I have met. His daughter was a paraplegic and so was his wife. His son didn't have a job. But he (the old landlord with squint eyes) had lots of cash. I used to think what's the point of having all that money, if you have such a miserable existence? All I had was Rani's love, and I was the happiest bloke in Andheri West. The landlord on the other hand… And then while I was vacating that house, the landlord decided to dupe me of roughly 8K from the deposit I had paid. I never bothered to get back the lost money, but my happiness was still intact. It actually grew manifold after shifting to the new pad. New writing gigs… new friends...

Haider reinforced my thought that an ugly soul can only beget sadness of all kinds.

One thing that saddened me the most after watching Haider was that the people living in the most beautiful state of the country, were perhaps the saddest. I don't think I will ever visit J&K. I don't understand the irony of life. Why is a place as gorgeous as J&K full of such sad stories? What have they done to deserve the wrath of everybody, mother nature included? I can't even imagine being in a place like that - where I have to prove my identity at every other turn on the street. I just about manage to tolerate the frisking at the malls and multiplexes, without losing my marbles. How do my brethren tolerate this kind of atrocity in 2014?

I am a happy camper - I JUST can't stand sorrow. I tend to flee from sad scenarios. Haider was another zone altogether. From the word go, we know what we are headed for. That's when the genius of the maker kicks in. When life is like that, why can't cinema resonate it? My films are not getting made, I am broke most of the time, but that doesn't mean that I sit in a corner of my room and cry till things change for the better. I still am happy. My brethren in Kashmir go on with their lives, perhaps just like how I do. May be they have found peace amidst the shellings and killings. May be they have their own in-jokes about these morbid happenings around their lives.

In a recent interview, Vishalji said, "Mujhe jo lagta hai, ki jo abhi tak hamari filmein mostly Kashmir pe bani hain, humnein almost always baahar se jaa kar dekha hai." This is the thing about Haider I also loved. We as an audience feel like them, not as an outsider on a tourist visa or some such. I could actually see people being rounded up in Oshiwara police station for no reason and being beaten up for no fault whatsoever. Haider makes you feel like you are right there, in the thick of things. The beatings and killings hurt you. They hurt you deep.

Being the overt 'sentimosanal' guy that I am, I feel crushed to even come to terms with the fact that the things up there in our country are so screwed. Just imagine what a person must have gone through to stone the army guys who are coming for rescue after the floods. Haider is an important film and I hope that one day I do feel free to visit J&K, without being scared for my life. At this moment I just feel like taking a impromptu trip to the so-called 'paradise on earth', but I will not, at least not till I am dead sure that I will come back alive. Pardon the word-play.

 A bit about the film, without giving away any spoilers. This is Shahid Kapoor's career best. I will not be surprised if he wins ALL the 'Best Actor' awards for 2014.  Basharat Peer has co-written what I think is the most gorgeous tragedy film that I have watched till this date. The casting by Mukesh Chhabra is legendary, and in my book it is his career best as well - though he may disagree. A special mention for the DoP, Pankaj Kumar - he has made Kashmir more stunning than the KF calendar makes the bikini babes look like. Kulbhushan Kharbanda sir, Kay Kay Menon and Tabu are stellar and no words can justify their presence in Haider.

Gulzar Saab holds a God-like position in my entire existence, so I will not make a fool out of myself by rating his contribution to this film. The original background score of Haider by Vishalji is another highlight in this film - it elevates the film to a divine space. Haider is as close to life as life can get. I cannot stop gushing about how overwhelmed I felt while I was watching it. The ovation came naturally to everybody in the audience. I cried a few tears when the character played by Shraddha requested the one by Shahid to cry. 

The concluding song in the honey-soaked vocals of Rekhaji lends hope and fulfilment to Haider. To  quote Vishalji, "Banane kahaan dete hain, bataiye? Indira Gandhi par nahi banni chahiye film? What a graph! What a beginning, middle, end! Bananey denge? Nahi bananey denge. Phir hoga ki jaise woh chahte hain, waise... Take Nehruji ki story. Kitni colourful life hai, kitni committed life hai. Aadmi swaraj ke liye fight kare toh kya colourful nahi ho sakta? Lekin you can't make a film like that - yahaan toh laathi utha kar maarne ke liye pehle taiyyar rehte hain!"      

I only hope and pray that Vishalji continues to make the films that he believes in. I also hope to write or make ONE film like the ones that he has made. I will die a proud bloke. 

Amen.  

P.S.: IRRFAN in Haider got as grand an entry as superstar Salman Khan in a Salman Khan film. Full taali-seeti moment happened!  

Mukesh Chhabra: Kya karoon sab ko aati nahi mujhe film banani aati nahin.

From where I see the way Bollywood functions, the toughest job here is to be a casting director. If you happen to be Mukesh Chhabra, only God or the love of your awesome mother can save you. I had the fortune of meeting the casting whiz, Mukesh Chhabra approx two years ago.

It was a little more than just a brief interview meeting that happened at Chai Coffi for BollywoodLife.com. By the end of the conversation, Mukesh promised to cast for my debut film as a writer and I promised to write a film that he might like to direct some day. We were obviously unaware that it was just a dream. Something that happens at such networking places 34 times a minute.

That meeting or interview (call it what you will) meant so many things to me at so may levels.

Here I was sitting opposite a guy who had Anurag Kashyap, Imtiaz Ali and Raju Hirani on his speed dial, and here I was, a rookie nobody who just wanted to make or write films. Mukesh Chhabra is one mad man, one of those who might jump out of an auto rickshaw shouting that the bloody flight has caught fire or some such. You can't make sense of what he said or did. His sense of humour might get him jailed for all we know, but today is his birthday. One of the nicest guys you could meet at Araam Nagar, the doors of his office are always open, no matter who you are.

Having had the proximity to work from one of his office, I can say for sure that he has a gazzillion visitors. Right from those who came fresh from the gym or those who have just stepped out of the set of Nukkad or Buniyaad a decade or two ago. Everybody wants to meet Mukesh Chhabra, if only for a few minutes. Mukesh barely looks at them, as he knows that he will know who to cast for that unsuspecting role. He just knows his craft at the back of his hand. Don't even get me started about his team, it's simply awesome!

Many people come knocking at Mukesh Chhabra's office door… struggling actors, producers, directors and the entire gamut. Even writers like me. He is just a nice guy who doesn't seem to know when to say 'No'. He encourages everybody, he entertains fungi who don't even recognise him. Read the texts he gets on his mobile phone, you might feel suicidal…  The most talented folks who are now out of jobs think that Chhabra will get them THAT elusive break.

I am just feeling lucky that I got to spend some good time with Mukesh Chhabra. He is one of the few people here who ensure that you are not going hungry or you don't have enough money to spend on this Diwali, just because he spent one festive season with just Rs. 50.00 on him many years ago. It is his birthday today and he is known to fight for actors like Rajkummar Rao and make others come to the limelight just because he can.

The talents that he has discovered are now driving around in the fanciest cars in town and are getting awards that actors get when they perhaps are on their death bed.  On his birthday, I just wish that our brother, Mukesh Chhabra continues to get the love and the recognition that his hard work deserves.  While we continue to make jokes about misfit actors being cast for roles they do not deserve, Mukesh Chhabra is going out of his way, trying to cast the best of the lot.

On this awesome day, I just hope that Mukesh Chhabra wakes up to his higher calling. Will Mukesh make films? Will he continue to cast brilliant actors for awesome roles? Will he break out from being a casting director to something that will get him more glory? I have no idea. I am just rooting for a mother who wants her son to be a lot more famous than the prodigies her son has just discovered. I still remember Chhabra's mother recently telling me, "Beta, woh khud ko chance kab dega?"

It is all about being honest to the moment and your craft and that is what I learned from Mukesh Chhabra. He gave me the inertia to type 'The End' on the script that I was writing, but our journeys are different… who knows…   Thank you for being there, maalik…

Let us make that film some time soon…

Cheers...

Raaste bahut achchey hain...

A Keyrun Rao original…

Koi dariya mein kyon doobega
Ke jab saahil hi itna pyaara ho
Koi poori azaan kyon suneyga
Ke jab woh hi mera kinaara ho

Raaste bahut achchey hain mere
Manzil ki jaane kisey hai parwaah
Andhere hain mere pairon mein
Yeh kaisi chuni hai maine yeh raah

Kuchh ajnabi aaj mere yaar ho gaye
Thodey se tanha yeh bazaar ho gaye
Anjaani si pyaas ho chali hai toh kya
Lagta hai jaisey hum aaj tere ho gaye

Raaste toh bahut achchey hain mere
Manzil ki jaane kisey hai parwaah

Teri mohabbat ko kya naam doon main

Phir sey hua hoon main aaj gumraah

Teri tarah kho jaata hoon main bhi

Kya main karoon kisi ko ab fariyaad

Lambi raatein reh gayi hain ab toh
Tera pyaar hai bas mujhe kyon yaad

Raaste toh bahut achchey hain mere
Manzil ki jaane kisey hai parwaah
Lamha toota hua ho mera toh kya
Mujhko toh chalni hai teri hi ek raah

Ek saans le, mujh mein aaj tu kho ja
Reh ja mujh mein, kahin ab bas ja
Banjaara hoon main tere qafiley ka
Aaj toh thodi der bas tu hi thehar ja

Raaste toh bahut achchey hain mere
Manzil ki jaane kisey hai parwaah

Bina tere jee raha hoon main tanhaa

Dikha de ab tu hi mujhe ek nayi raah

(Dedicated to Imtiaz Ali's latest film… )