Script of the first Ugly trailer spoof

Ugly spoof

A Keyrun Rao original inspired by this:

Opening: Gfx

Darawna Motion Pictures

Fuh se fuck you

Fade in.

Scene 1

Abhishek to Matthew on phone:

Ek narration ke liye jaa raha hoon, chalega kya saath?

Nahin to main Kartik ko bula loonga

Scene 2

In car

Abhishek to Matthew:

Yaar 2mins ruk, chashma banwaane diya hai… lekar aata hoon

Matthew spots Abhishek’s latest script ‘Nakli’ on the car’s backseat

Scene 2-A

Cut to:

A frantic Abhishek looking for Matthew around Araam Nagar / Yari Rd. asking people

Ek kaala aadmi meri script lekar bhaag gaya… aapne dekha usey? Kurta pehna hua tha…

Scene 2-B

Cut to:

Abhishek spots a kurta wearing guy with a script in his hand… He chases him like a maniac. He finally manages to catch him, punches him only to find out it was somebody else…

Close up of the mistaken guy’s script titled ‘Doga ka kya hoga?’

Scene 3

Cut to FWA (Film Writers’ Assn.) office, where Abhishek has come to complain about absconding Matthew

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Bahut bada hero hai… unregistered script ko aise hi gaadi mein chhod ke jaata hai…

Naam kya hai tera?

Abhishek to FWA chief / officer:

Abhishek Pandey

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Yahaan toh Sadabahaar likha hai

Abhishek to FWA chief / officer:

Sir industry ke log aise hi karte hain, ghar pe ek naam aur parde ke liye doosra naam…

FWA chief / officer to Abhishek:

Kyon? Amitabh bachchan ka kya hai naam ghar pe?

(Laughter)

SCENE 4

Cut to:

Phone rings

Voiceover: Script waapas chahiye toh 12 hazaar ka intezaam kar…

Scene 5

Cut away shots of a worried Abhishek who then calls his friend:

Abhishek to his friend on phone:

Yaar hum kisi se 12 hazaar udhaar nahin le sakte kya?

Abhishek’s friend replies:

Dekh hum writer log hain, apne ko kaun udhaar dega? Woh tera co-writer hai na, Kartik, usko bol, who ya toh paise dega ya Matthew ko kahin na kahin se dhoondh nikaalega… BKFPL mein hai na who?

Scene-6

Enter Kartik

Cut away shots of a worried Kartik twirling a ciggy in his fingers

Abhishek & Kartik are sitting in their study room, too brain fucked… Abhishek’s phone rings… Kartik picks up

It’s Matthew on the phone

Tera script tujhko waapas chahiye to 12 hazaar

SCENE -7

Screen splits where producers offering peanuts for their script.

1^st guy: 3 hazaar

2^nd guy: 5 hazaar

3^rd guy: 7 hazaar

4^th guy: 10 hazaar

Random montage shots of tired Kartik & Abhishek looking for absconding Matthew

Scene -8

Cut to:

Kartik-Abhishek’s work-space

Kartik to Abhishek

Paise tere ko hi chahiye na saale? Pichhle mahiney ke rent ka share due hai

Kartik then pushes Abhishek off his chair & Abhishek falls sloppily

Montage shots of heated argument between Kartik & Abhishek

Cut to:

Kartik to Abhishek on phone:

Tera script hai to mera bhi script hai bhenc**d

SCENE -9

Producer to Kartik:

Signing amount le li hai, script kab doge tum log?

Scene-10

Worried Abhishek driving around in his car

Text on screen:

When the writer getS desperate

The desperate writer gets nasty / creepy / evil / monstrous / lonely / miserable / greedy

NAKLI

Fade out.