Friday, February 28, 2014

Random musings after watching Saket Chaudhary's Shaadi Ke Side Effects

Given the fact that I have still to complete the two scripts that I have been paid to write, I have no business to be writing this piece. In fact I have no business to be watching films at all. There is so much to write and very little time. But practicality has never been one of my virtues. So, if you have paid me to write your film and are seething in anger, reading this, kindly accept my unconditional apologies.

My bond with cinema has been very strong. Being a shy introvert guy with self-esteem issues, cinema has been my guiding force in life. When my friends in school had already enrolled for various coaching classes to become an engineer or an entrepreneur, I enrolled in cinema. Having watched RGV's Satya, I decided to become a gangster like Bhiku Mhatre. Owing to the lack of facial hair & a baritone voice, I settled at being a copywriter after watching Sujoy Ghosh's Jhankaar Beats.

A few years later, I watched Saket Chaudhary's Pyaar Ke Side Effects. After Jhankaar, PKSE was my refresher course of falling in and out of love. Between these two films, I was armed to deal with anything that love had to offer. Not to forget Anant Balani's Mumbai Matinee. Before you mean people start making jokes about me being a 30-year old virgin, let me just thank Mr. Pritish Nandy. I owe you a round, kind sir!

Given this back story, I was obviously looking forward to Shaadi Ke Side Effects for more reasons than one. To quote a famous mathematician (who is also my part-time rugby trainer), “Nothing is certain except for death, taxes & marriage.” I am yet to make any sense of what Mr. Dhanasekaran Kuzhandaisamy Sokkalingam meant when he said that, but I think it is profound. If Anupama Chopra, my erstwhile most favourite reviewer, could rate Gunday over Highway… you get the drift?

Coming back to Shaadi Ke Side Effects, I don't really want to ruin it for you by telling you the plot points, the storyline or any of that. Let me just tell you, if you have just been married, about to marry, divorced, are in love, or planning to fall in love, enrolled in the gym to lose your tummy, watched porn, got drunk & cried yourself to sleep on 14th Feb, or had a morbid dark childhood that involved you eating soggy Parle G biscuits dipped in strawberry-flavoured milk, you will connect with this film. Okay, I could be wrong about the Parle G bit, but the rest is correct.

Shaadi Ke Side Effects is a modern day take on life after tying the knot just like Pyaar Ke Side Effects was a modern day take on life before tying the knot. Many of my friends got married not very long ago and whatever few interactions I had with them, I could almost see playing out in SKSE. One of my best friends, Ashish Shrivastava, was recently blessed with a baby, and I could see him in the character played by Farhan Akhtar. The character played by Vidya Balan reminded me of another friend, Payal Shishodia. Now that I have defamed my dearest friends, let me order some beer… Hahaha

Now my own marriage isn't very far off either. Watching Shaadi Ke Side Effects has prepared me for the trauma and grief that awaits me. Before inviting the wrath of Rani (my better half-to-be-after-my-first-film-goes-on-floors), let me just say that I am sure my journey will be happier. I am not very sure about becoming a father at this moment, but I think I will be a good husband. How difficult is it anyway?

I am an ISO 9001:2008 certified dish washer and some people actually think I write good poetry. My sense of humour… hmmm let's not even go there. As they say in Portuguese, let leaping dogs lie. Also, I suck at remembering dates, but each date is a date, isn't it? Wait that didn't even make any sense. May be I could wax eloquent about my sword swallowing skills. No? Ok.

I am good at saying 'sorry'. With or without meaning it. And I have stopped lying entirely. May be I am lying about that, but what the heck. (That is SKSE in a nutshell)

I must say, what timing Mr. Saket Chaudhari - I fell in love during PKSE, now getting married post SKSE. You will go to hell if you ever make Divorce Ke Side Effects. Enough of this shit, bro. Make something else, na… A murder mystery perhaps. Throw in a divorce angle and BINGO your trilogy is complete! I think it is a damn good idea! Dear Saket, if you are wondering how to get in touch with me for any reason other than hurling abuses at me, please drop in a line in the comments section!

I think I should get back to writing my own scripts, now that I have got this monkey off my chest. To the rest in Ramgarh & thereabouts, I just have to say that give Shaadi Ke Side Effects a chance. Just like you took a chance with your girlfriend who is now your wife / your girlfriend who is somebody else's wife now. To quote the famous mathematician (who is also my part-time rugby trainer), Mr. D. K.  Sokkalingam, "Risk toh Spiderman ko bhi lena padta hai." (Loosely translated - conditions apply.)

I leave you with a song from Shaadi Ke Side Effects, which is basically a poetic way of saying sorry.

Thank you.

Love, Magik.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

दिल वालों की सोहबत

A Keyrun Rao original

बड़े अच्छे लोग होते हैं दिल वाले
उन के पास सब अच्छा नहीं होता
 बुराइयों से भरी खुदा की दुनिया में
दिल वालों से अच्छा कोई नहीं होता

बड़ी बुरी है दिल वालों की सोहबत
बच के ही रहना इन जैसों से तुम
दिमाग़ वाले बड़े भले हैं दुनिया में
मेरी ये एक छोटी बात मान लो तुम

सारे रिश्तों का पूरा हिसाब रखना
किसी से कभी कोई सच मत कहना
अपनी दौलत से बातें करना खूब
बस दिल वालों की सोहबत से बचना

बड़ी बुरी है दिल वालों की सोहबत
दर्द इतना सारा है, खुशी ज़रा सी
खुशी के लम्हे तो बहुत कम ही हैं
और पाओगे दुनिया भर की उदासी

अपने दिल से मत सोचना कभी भी
उसके लिए तो दिमाग़ काम आता है
तुम सब के बस की बात नहीं है ये
सोच के भी रूह को पसीना आता है

तुम खेलो सारे खेल बस दिमाग़ वालों से
दिल वालों को रहने दो उनके हाल पे 
शायद कोई सज़ा काट रहे हैं वो अपनी 
कोई जवाब ही नहीं उनके किसी सवाल पे 

बड़ी बुरी है दिल वालों की सोहबत
इनसे तो बच के रहना ही आसान है 
बहुत होशियार बन गये हो तुम अब
तुम्हारे अंदर भी अब एक शैतान है