MARD KO DARD NAHIN HOTA review: Underground retro pulp cult stuff

It was my birthday yesterday (technically still today). In my head I am still celebrating it with my lovely wife Rani. She's a an amazing superwoman, and is the best cook ever, perhaps a close second to my mother. Wait, this is not a Rani appreciation post, but let me still just leave this here - I am the luckiest guy in Andheri (West) - no, make that the entire earth, and all its cousin planets.

 The last paragraph was a trick.

Just like how director Vasan Bala sneaked in all his ginormous love for movies, music & Matunga in an out-and-out action film, I wrote a little love letter to Rani. Hahaha.

If you scratch the surface of 'Mard Ko Dard Nahin Hota', you will see what I mean. I have known Vasan for more than a decade now- no, we barely meet, or hang out. He is schooled by Anurag Kashyap, and I lean towards the realms of Yash Chopra, Vishal Bhardwaj & Rajkumar Hirani.  I could be totally wrong, but that's my perception of this mad man. What does connect me and Vasan is our mad passion for cinema. I guess we are movie fanatics first, and then film professionals.

MKDNH is absolute underground retro pulp cult stuff - please first watch the trailer of Vasan's labour of love here:



I don't think many of my readers know of my Matunga connection... I was born in Udipi-Manipal, but raised in erstwhile Bombay. Till the 5th standard, I used to go to Holy Family High School, in Chheda Nagar. Before moving to Indore, we had a 1-room-kitchen-nothing-else apartment in Tilak Nagar (Chembur) and it was a ritual for us to visit our relatives who owned an entire building in Matunga. Acharya Products baad mein Google kar lena. Those visits involved us going and pigging out at the joints in and around that vicinity.

The food at Cafe Madras! Totally worth dying or killing for.

Story mein abhi tak hero ki entry nahin hui? Okay, here you go -

Abhimanyu Dassani came across as a worthy inheritor of Hrithik Roshan's legacy. Period. 

I swear to Lord CineIndra, I am not exaggerating - this young boy is going to be one of the busiest actors for the next few years, and will reign the action films' genre. Rani had predicted this way before even Abhimanyu could have imagined. There is something very 'Mard' yet very endearing - you know like everyone would wish good things to happen to him. I hated everyone in the film who did nasty things to our Surya of MKDNH. Super Gullu, please go to hell.

RADHIKA MADAN - The STREE of our Mard is a "PAAO KILO KI PYTHON" - ye Google pe nahin milega, sorry. The blood, sweat and dirt she suffered is on ample display. Radhika is perhaps Bollywood's answer to Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Garner and the likes. She kicks ass, breaks bones but the moment her hair flies in slow motion, your heart skips a beat. You don't want her to hurt herself.

Take a break, listen to 'Rappan Rappi Rap' now:



Okay, so let me tell you about the man I hate the most in Andheri (West) tonight - Gulshan Devaiah - he has killed it in more ways than one in MKDNH. Humility be damned, I think I was one of the first to call Gulshan the new 'Bad Man' of Bollywood, I think this was during the release of 'Shaitan,' or one of his first films. He has a double role in this film, and the characters he is playing here are too extreme opposites - award nominations are inevitable. Congratulations & bouquets in order.

Okay, so now let me tell you about the man I love the most in Mumbai tonight - Mahesh Manjrekar. Mahesh sir plays the role of Surya's grandfather "Aazoba" and perhaps packs in a career best performance as an actor that will be remembered for ages. I wish one of my grandfathers were a fraction as cool or inspiring or motivating - he talks about sex with his son and grandson, in a clean yet cool fashion. And the hats he wears - what an enviable collection.

P.S.: We are still talking about the minutest attention to detail we saw this night.

P.S. 1: Love you, dear Vasan Bala, please keep peddling your dreams. We will keep buying the tickets, you keep entertaining us. It's our little deal, you sasta Sriram Raghavan.

P.S. 2: Once again, happy birthday to me. HAHAHA.

Kirdaar short film - short review: Mukesh Chhabra gives a memorable performance as a struggling theater actor

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Let me warm you up to this piece by showing you the trailer of Swati Semwal's short film that features my bossman, mentor, elder brother - Mukesh Chhabra.

In what can perhaps be called as a delicious twist of role swapping, actor-director Swati Semwal has cast Mukesh Chhabra, the casting director, the man who has cast her in many films. Semwal’s short film, ‘Kirdaar’ is the journey of a struggling theater actor, Aman who commits himself to his role so completely that it isn’t even safe – not for him or his loving wife, Aditi (played unimaginably brilliantly by Pooja A Gor).

The popular perception of theater actors is that they will not shy away from going to any length to do justice to the characters they play. ‘Kirdaar’ is a dangerous extension of the same thought. Given it’s runtime of less than 20-minutes, the director does a great job of saying more by showing less. To top it, the performances feel so heartfelt, one is already rooting for either Aman or Aditi – or even Aashiqa, the character Aman is essaying.

Given the fact that Chhabra is the most sought-after casting director in Hindi cinema, agreeing to essay this twisted character is a really bold step – nowhere close to his or anyone else’s comfort zone. While watching ‘Kirdaar’ it is evident that Chhabra has internalized his years of experience of interacting with theater artists of various backgrounds. Pooja Gor does justice to her role has the wife who is at the receiving end of her husband’s creative endeavors.

I am really paranoid, if my loving wife, Rani, God forbid, ever had to go through this trauma.

Director Swati Semwal must be appreciated for documenting a theater actor’s journey in a way that keeps you hooked all the way. Director of photography, Syed Tanveer Riaz and the editors - Jayant H. Verma and Akash Malame have done a great job too. Watching ‘Kirdaar’ might leave you asking for more, but that’s perhaps the biggest victory of the director and her entire cast and crew.

Watch the full film here:

Also, happy birthday to me!   

HAMID movie review: A befitting addition to the legacy of Vishal Bhardwaj's Haider

Disclaimer: A dear friend, Ravinder Randhawa, wrote this film, so cannot be objective or clinical while writing this review - actually I am too emotional at the moment. No spoilers here.

Let me warm you up to this piece by showing you the trailer here:



Now sample the awesomeness of Ravinder sir here:



And then here:



If the second song made you cry,  I can understand - the song is like that. Take a break and come back to this piece on director Aijaz Khan's film, 'Hamid,' that has released in theatres this weekend.

Let me give you an explanation for the headline of this piece - I am an ignoramus, and my worldview comes from the films I watch. For me, Vishal Bhardwaj's 'Haider' was baptism by fire into what's happening in and around Jammu-Kashmir. Judge me, I don't care. 'Haider' also prepared me as to what to expect from 'Hamid'. A 5-minute standing ovation for all those who ensured that the Kashmiri accented Hindi was spot on, if 'Haider' is the gold standard.

The opening scene of 'Hamid' planted me deeply into its universe. I think it is devastating to be probed and questioned regarding your identity by random strangers (in the form of army personnel). I don't know why they, both in 'Haider,' and now in 'Hamid,' are shown as cocky, rude blokes who are unhappy in their lives. I know there are and will be exceptions, but mostly that's the scenario. Okay let's get back to little Hamid (the lovable, innocent boy played by Talha Arshad Reshi) and his screwed up paradise.

Hamid is as influenced by his father, as I am by Gulzar Saab and most of his legendary works. In the beginning we see an old craftsman painstakingly making a boat with a song on his lips - I smiled wide thinking of the blessing every artist has while in the process of creation. All us artists live for moments like these, the fee may be pittance - hundred rupees a month in little Hamid's case - truth be told, not too different from what I make as a writer. 

Little boy Hamid is perhaps the sweetest and purest soul in the realm of the film, his father comes a close second - or vice versa. Hamid's mother (played by a brilliant Rasika Duggal) on the other hand has become cynical and bitter and I hated her from the word go. But what else to expect from a human who has been living in the harshest conditions - both politically and financially. She smiles perhaps once when Allah comes to her rescue via Hamid.

'Hamid' the film is loaded with metaphors, both sublime and sometimes it feels like how one would after walking into a glass door. The metaphor marathon begins with a metaphor on how the color red suits the Jhelum river and ends with a red on Jhelum but on the hopeful spectrum of emotions. Aijaz's film is an emotional roller coaster, and there's never a dull moment other than few poetic silences. I think I will watch many times over just to soak in all the metaphors.

I have always been in awe and regard of Ravinder sir's writing, but after watching 'Hamid' my respect for sir shot through the stratosphere - his brilliance, to employ a metaphor, lies somewhere between the sun and the stars. Sir's influences are bigger legends like Faiz Ahmed Faiz and Paash to name just two. His wit and sharpness can be sampled in the first song I shared - 'Sursuri ye chaai hai...' and we have been lucky to sample many of his creative endeavors. Some samples here:



And this one too:



I had read a saying, "One man's terrorist is another's tourist," or something to that effect. 'Hamid' the film showcases just that in a very poetic, visually delicious and in a very balanced way. In between the terrorists and the tourists, the ones most hurt in the entire scheme of things are the people living in their paradise lost. By now, I think I guess I know why the army personnel are shown as cocky and rude, as they are hated by both, the terrorists and the local citizens.

The only ones they get love from, they are away from, for most of their working lives. How tragic is that! If you had money to just watch one film this year, please buy that ticket for 'Hamid'.

Thank me later.

Love, K.

Spot Rani in this video:


       

Gully Boy review: What a TIME to be at the cinemas!

On the way back home, after watching Zoya Akhtar's latest masterpiece, 'Gully Boy,' I realized that films set in Bombay have always held a very special place in the centre of my heart. I am talking 'Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron,' 'Salaam Bombay,' 'Bombay,' 'Satya,' 'Rangeela,' 'Black Friday,' 'Waisa Bhi Hota Hai (Part 2),' Luck By Chance...

You get the drift? No? Okay -

I LOVE BOMBAY.

BOMBAY LOVES ME.

WE ARE A HAPPY FAMILY.



I am a sucker for Bombay, and love stories, so I was already sold the moment the trailer of 'Gully Boy' landed on YouTube. Disclaimer: I am more of a ghazal / Sufi music lover, hence stayed miles away from hip-hop / rap till this 'Gully Boy' song dropped -



'Apna time aayega' has been playing on my head since then. What an uplifting song, it can even uplift the uplifted - it should be the morning wake up call for everyone with a dream to chase. Before going any further, I have three words for those who didn't like 'Gully Boy' -

Go. Fuck. Yourself.

A little background - I have watched a short film, 'Bombay 70' - and have watched it 70 times or more since then. I knew there was enough material for a feature film in the short film. Cut to about two years later I got to know that Zoya is making a film which is apparently inspired by the same. To be fair, 'Bombay 70' & 'Gully Boy' are two legit legends in their own spaces respectively.



Getting to the point, 'Gully Boy' will be remembered as one of Indian cinema's best - Zoya's best ever - and till this afternoon I thought she couldn't top 'Luck By Chance' in this lifetime. There is a moment in 'Gully Boy' when Murad (Ranveer) goes to Safeena (Alia) to tell her about the best day in his life - it's a very unique setting - my eyes went semi moist, confused if I am happy or sad. This stayed till a little before the interval, when I had started crying profusely.

Post interval, there was a moment in between Murad & his mother, when my confused eyes got semi moist & stayed till I burst into tears towards the last half hour of the film. My wife Rani, and my mom-in-law get really embarrassed when I cry in cinemas, but I just can't help when tears start flowing. 'Gully Boy' is full of magical moments - in between all the primary and secondary characters - the reason the semi moist eyes remain moist, or a few tears drop, involuntarily.

Every Murad (artist) needs a Safeena (the mental-lover-leveler) - I thank God, I found my Safeena in Rani. Each time I missed a beat, she got my rhythm back on track. My reasons for connecting with 'Gully Boy' lie in the moments, the sweet kisses, the shy Murad who meets his mentor MC Sher (Siddhant Chaturvedi) or his best friend, Moeen (Vijay Verma), Murad's angry father (Vijay Raaz) and his heartbroken mother (Amruta Subhash). Not to forget the moments shared between Murad and Sky (Kalki). So tempted to watch 'Gully Boy' one more time.

A juvenile boy I know on Facebook via my wife credited the awesomeness of 'Gully Boy' to Javed Akhtar Saab; I replied, "With due respect to Javed Saab, his only BEST contribution to this film is that he is Zoya's father." I think the sole best contributor to this film over and above the cast and crew can only be this crazy lovely city, I equate with my mother - my Bombay - here destinies are re-written, slumdogs turn millionaires, millionaires flee to Kenya and maximum dreams come true. Basically, the golden nest for nurturing underdog stories.

P.S. 1: The casting directors (Karan Mally & Nandini Shrikent), cinematographer (Jay Oza) & editor (Nitin Baid) deserve more credit than they would ever get. 

P.S. 2: Safeena and MC Sher deserve films of their own.

P.S. 3: I will kiss Reema Kagti and Zoya Akhtar's shoelaces whenever I see them in person.

A short review in the Gully Boy language -

TOD-PHOD. CHEER-PHAAD. BUM-PHAAD. BHOT HARD. EK NUMBER, BANTAAI.

 

Mom & Co.: A web-series that will make you love your mom even more.

I don't usually invest time in web-series, despite the hype surrounding them - it's just takes too much time to eventually find any redemption, and I got to know there are times when even that doesn't happen.

Disclaimer: As my wife Rani has cast for Mom & Co., you can conveniently say that I am biased to say good things about it, and I wouldn't hold it against you.

I think that the deepest bonds we make as humans is the one we have with our moms - I call my mom, 'Chintu'  - as she is cute as hell and 4 feet something in height.

Back in the day I used to spell my name as Kiran Rao - when my mom saw the Dhobi Ghaat poster, she thought my first film has released; these days I spell my first name as K E Y R U N.  My beginning of my mom story wasn't too happy, but in the last ten years, my Chintu has become my best friend, who I can talk about anything to, without batting an eyelid. I also think that the deepest, strongest and unshakable memories we have as humans, is mom's food.

My connecting point with director Ashish Ranglani's web-series, 'Mom & Co.' is the mom-son & food-dynamic and I was sold when I first saw the trailer. I am just two episodes into the series, and Neliimaji making a comeback after so many years is still the seasoned performer that she has always been remembered for.   

Sample the trailer here: 



A wise friend told us, there's no point in a wife trying to compete with her husband's mother's cooking - because it is about childhood memories that will almost always tilt the weight on the mom's side. Manoshi, stop grinning. Please watch this beautiful web-series and share your feelings in the comments' section.

Watch the first episode here:



Love you mom, my Chintu. Please be my best friend forever.

P.S.: Looking forward to the next episodes, hugs to the writers, Shyni Shetty & Aarsh Vora - you make the writers' tribe proud.

Dost kam hain mere...

A Keyrun Rao Original

Mera ek dost hai Ashu, bada paagal sa hai

Mila nahin hoon us se, pata nahin kyon

Waqt beet gaya, saal bhi bahut guzar gaye,

Khushi ab bhi utni hi hai, par jaane kyon?

Dost kam hain mere, log to kharaab hain,

Pata nahin kya dhoondhte rehte hain saare,

Ek dil hai mera, jo hamesha yaad rakhta hai

Kya baaqi bachey sab log ab kharaab hain?

Madad maangi maine us se, bina soche samjhe,

Ashu ne poora kiya mera har woh khwaab

Do pal ko nahin socha usne, muskaate huwe

Diya mujhe usne sabse haseen jawaab

Dost kam hain mere, log to kharaab hain,

Pata nahin kya dhoondhte rehte hain saare,

Ek dil hai mera, dhoondhta rehta hai hamesha,

Hum jaane kyon lagte sab hain itney bechaarey.

Mera ek dost hai Ashu, bada paagal sa hai,

Mila nahin hoon us se, par pata nahin kyon;

Dhadakta rehta hai, mujhse milta rehta hai

Baatein sab apni hain, apni dhun mein jeeta hai. 

Dost ab kam hain mere, log to kharaab hi hain,

Pata nahin kya dhoondhte rehte hain saare,

Matlab ke rishton mein, bematlab sa farishta hai,

Jaan lo, mera Ashu jo hai, wo sab se achcha hai.

 

Badhaai Ho: A cinematic baby worth celebrating

Just got back after watching Amit R. Sharma's film, 'Badhaai Ho'. As usual, not a regular review of the film.  I will always remember 2018 for 'Sanju', 'AndhaDhun' & 'Badhaai Ho'.

Before we go any further, a HUGE shoutout & drumroll to the writers, Akshat Ghildial & Shantanu Shrivastava. You guys make the writers' clan super proud with your super fresh & intelligent writing. You guys have joined the league of Juhi Chaturvedi & Hitesh Kewalya - first ball pe sixer - stadium se baahar!

The trailer doesn't give away a fraction of the fun that you can expect at the cinemas this weekend. I swear, I am not exaggerating. The trailer gives a mere glimpse of what has happened, and some repercussions of some decisions.   

The real fun is not the 'what', it is about 'how' & 'what after' & a tear inducing climax that will soften even the toughest criminals. I personally was sold in the first few minutes because the film is mostly set in the same lane as in Habib Faisal's 'Do Dooni Chaar' - my review of DDC brought Rani into my life, so it holds a very special place in my heart. There's something very bitter-sweet about middle-class stories that hits the sweet spot and stays on.  Throw in a heartbreak song, and I am sold.



Though it feels like I have been married to Rani for many lifetimes, but it has only been a few years since we actually got married. For the last two years we have been dodging the most uncomfortable question thrown at us by older relatives, "Badhaai kab hogi?" Badhaai will happen when it has to, but why is it their ONLY concern, I fail to understand. Anyway, I will save that subject for some other time. In this film the announcement of the impending Badhaai is a magical scene.

It raises such a large question on the moral fibre that we have been made to adhere to. The film has done the job if people go back home thinking about the reasons of the decisions or choices they made in their lives, especially the older lot. The younger lot also have a lot of food for thought. Specifically, the equation they share with their parents. For the first 25 years of my life, I barely spoke to my parents. That changed after Rani came into my life. Now if I haven't spoken to them for a day or sent them WhatsApp messages, my day feels incomplete.  You should have seen my parents dance at our wedding - it was a sight to behold.



THEN there is bro-bonding. 

Of late I haven't been on talking terms with my kid bro. So every time there was scene between the brothers, I was weeping. I loved it when the elder brother SLAPS the little one in one scene. I want to do that too! Hahaha. The kid brother in 'Badhaai Ho' is a lovable rascal, like all kid brothers are. It is sad that I can't find the name of the guy who plays that character anywhere online. Shout out, if you know, I will update the piece. Every elder brother deserves a kid bro like him.

For me Gajraj Rao & Neena Gupta will remain Parents of The Decade, or may be a close second to the Duggals (Rishiji & Neetuji in DDC). Dadiji of The Century will be shared with Surekha Sikri in Badhaai Ho & Kamlesh Gill (in Vicky Donor).

Best Actor for me:
Popular category - Ayushmann Khurrana in Badhaai Ho & Ranbir Kapoor in Sanju.     
Critics category - Ayushmann Khurrana in AndhaDhun.

There I said it. Thank me later. Watch 'Badhaai Ho' this weekend or stop complaining about the quality of Hindi cinema forever.

Observation: I think Ayushmann Khurrana is the only actor who has two films playing at Chandan, Juhu simultaneously. Correct me if I am wrong. Actually don't bother. Bye.

Love,

Magik.