Thank you, 2013!

What a spectacular year 2013 has been. Not that I made my first 100cr film, but still, have never felt in such a happier space before. Not that I live inside a cake, but you get the drift, na? All my passwords contain the four letters - R, A, N & I. My days begin with a goofy smile & end with aching finger tips. I am writing films & beginning to get paid (albeit thoda) to do so too! Who knew… Hopefully you'll read about my films in gossip mags sometime next year. (Many duas needed) 

Have an answer to the dreaded question, "arey, tum shaadi kab kar rahey ho?." I used to avoid people who used to ask me such questions. I used to not take such people's calls. I used to feel depressed. Not any more. This question excites me, makes me smile & makes me write even more. As a drunk Aamir Khan said in Mangal Pandey - The Rising, "Ab life mein settle ho jaana maangta." 

I don't throw stones at cats anymore. One of my friends told me, "yaar tu badal gaya hai, have never seen you like this." I don't listen to sad songs anymore. I have stopped watching 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham' altogether. I do, sometimes, listen to the 'Bole chudiyaan' song & do a little gig to it when not sober. I still watch Baghban sometimes & cry like a sissy girl. Somethings don't change. But hey, I haven't renewed my membership of the 'Dukhi Dil Association'.

I am broke most of the time, but I smile proudly as if I have just stepped out of my Audi Q7. I dream of going to Baku (Azerbaijan) & owning The Maserati Quattroporte GTS. I know it is silly, but I know it will happen. Because Rani tells me so. She is such a wonderful person, wonder why she sauntered into my life so late. Better late than never. Can't thank her enough. She makes the best Maggi in the world. The bread-butter-jam that she makes should be made the national breakfast, lunch & dinner.

HAHAHA. Just kidding. She also knows how to boil eggs. I taught her. HAHAHA.

Before she kills me, she makes the BESTESTASTIESTAWESOMEST Peshawari Dal in the world. I can kill for that. I can kick a puppy for that. 

Oh wait, I have stopped doing such nasty things. Sorry, Shaktiman.

Have met some really wonderful people this year… People who I will always love, care for and borrow money from (irrespective of me needing the money or not). Found new confidence in the fact that I can write an entire feature film in less than ten days, I kid you not. I barely thought of myself as a writer; but Rani thinks I write really well. So I write for her. I write for her belief that I can write. Most of my life I only thought the only thing I could do best was - drunk dance to 'Sapne mein milti hai'.

I have stopped 'un-friending' and 'report-spamming' people who don't like the films I love. I have learned to look past them. I just pretend they don't exist. I hope they catch cold. I hope a waiter spits into their soup or something. I know it is not a very good thing to do, par kya bachche ki jaan logy kya? Ek saal mein itna ich milenga. Hope this changes next year.

My first film to hopefully (Again, many duas needed) release stars Sholay, Jhankaar Beats, Satya & Old Monk. That makes me feel very happy. I always wanted my first film to star SRK, but I can live without that. Wonder what kind of reviews my film will get. Hope you kind people in Ramgarh will feel proud and cheer and clap when you see my name on the big screen. Hope Taran Adarsh gives it 3.5 stars. Actually I don't care about Taran and his slimy usool and adarsh.

A 3 star review from Rajeev Masand & Anupama Chopra would make me proud though.

Wonder if you all will  'un-friend' and 'report-spam' me if you don't like my film. Will you give me another chance to prove myself? I don't know about all of you, but Rani will. She loves me, na. Poor girl. HAHAHA.

Here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas & a very many Happy New Year! Pray for me, shower me with duas, love and please lend me money when I ask you. HAHAHA.  I am such a cheapskate, na. Hope 2014 changes that about me. I also want to be all rich & classy like all of you. Amen.