FAN: Thank God, Shahrukh Khan still can!

Disclaimer 1: Have been a huge Shahrukh Khan fan, just like many others, who discovered love with him, in Aditya Chopra's DDLJ.

Disclaimer 2: I still continue to love SRK, despite his films. His last film that I remember watching like a crazy fan was 'Chak De India' - I watched it at Urvashi theatre (Bangalore) seven times back to back, over a crazy weekend. Have lost count of times that I watched it on TV over the years.

I am few of the lucky SRK fans who watched DDLJ at Maratha Mandir in its 1000th week. It was an evening I will never forget, and like all other good things in life, I only have Rani to thank. Coming back to being a fan of Shahrukh, let me admit I have skipped most of his films post Chak De. India!. I took a leap of faith with Dilwale, but came back embarrassed. The SRK of Chennai Express & Dilwale are not the SRK that I had loved, and still continue to do so.

I don't know how this works, because an actor should be loved for his films, no? May be it is the thing that they call - connection - mera connection bhi solid hai. Post Chak De, India! I have only waited for his films for the interviews he gave (print and video all included) during the films' promotions. I know he has his justified reasons for doing the kind of films that he has been doing, but please count me out. Since Chennai Express was first announced, I thought that I will have to make do with his interviews and inspiring speeches only.



Things changed when Fan was announced, and I was privy to a little more info about the film than normal fans (again thanks to Rani). I thought it would be a game-changer for the Shahrukh the actor, that I loved to bits. After watching Maneesh Sharma's Fan, I can only say that, Shahrukh still can act - like the supremely talented guy that he is. To pull off a Guarav Chandna like he did, you have to be a bloody good actor - it's not every actor's cup of tea.

What do I say about Fan the film? It didn't work for me as a film, but as a fan of SRK, it was an eye-opener. It left my eyes open wide. I could not believe the spectacle that had unfolded in front of me. My Shahrukh had delivered a double whammy, both as Gaurav and as Aryan Khanna too! There is no point nitpicking the flaws of the film, but what I came back with was an actor so flawless, who took jokes at his own superstar image, in a way that only he can, and has been doing all these years.

As a fan it has always been embarrassing for me when friends poked jokes at most of his recent films, but now onwards, his double role in Fan will be my way to get back at haters. Thankfully I am not even a fraction of a fan like Gaurav in Fan, but I still try & defend him whenever I can, but how long could I keep on talking about Chak De, India!? Mr. Maneesh Sharma and Adi sir, thank you for giving us fans this film. We all owe you this one, big time.

Now looking forward to Raees & the Imtiaz Ali film.

Dear Shahrukh Khan, I love you... all over again.

Met the boy that I once was, a thousand weeks ago…

We live in amazing times… Not only can many of us boast of having watched Sholay on the big screen, a lucky bunch of cinema-lovers has even enjoyed ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro’ and ‘Chashme Budduur’ at the theatre. 

Don’t even get me started about those who recently watched Gulzar Saab’s ‘Libaas’ at a recently held film festival. I am writing this piece after coming face-to-face with the boy I once was, while watching DDLJ in a theater, after a thousand weeks of its release.

As a shy, under-confident and a chubby-tubby boy, one doesn’t really know what love is. I was still in the process of growing my first moustache, and the little I knew about this emotion called love were basically stories (usually a bunch of lies) that I had heard from friends who were manlier then, than what I think I have become now. Young lads fighting each other, over their respective GFs wasn’t a completely unheard of scenario, especially in a small town like Indore.

Aditya Chopra’s ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge,’ was my first formal introduction to ‘love,’ and to be honest, I still feel the same way about the feeling almost two decades hence. As the line from the film’s publicity material goes, After Raj met Simran, love was never the same. The QSQT & MPK generations of lovers were fading away, and an entire new breed was waiting for a film that could redefine love for them. DDLJ was just what this new bunch was waiting for.

Goes without saying that I am a HUGE SRK fanboy, and it’s slightly unfortunate that of late the only good thing to come out of his films are the interviews that he gives. Coming back to DDLJ, and the special screening that Rani took me along for - there were murmurs that SRK might drop by during the interval, and there was a general sense of electric excitement in the air at Maratha Mandir. The theatre itself was decked like a ‘dulhania,’ band-baaja-baraat, all in tow.

The audience comprised of mad-screaming-hyper-charged fans of DDLJ, SRK and Kajol, alike Rani and moi. As it happens with any film with a loyal following like this, one had to strain the ears to hear the lines; it actually seemed like the fans owned the film, not the makers. On cue, the audience would repeat the lines, clap, whistle and cheer, borrowing energies from each other. There were two kids sitting in the row ahead of mine, they were dancing to every song!

It was one crazy experience. And then, somewhere towards the interval, SRK looks at Kajol and says –

“Main nahin aaoonga…”

I felt sad for Raj and his Simran – That moment reminded me of all the girls whose marriage invitations that I had politely declined. Or at least those who I wished would invite me to their weddings, and I would hopefully, politely decline them. Happy-sad moment it was, and there onwards one doesn’t think of Raj as a bratty rascal anymore. He is a nice guy after all, just like all of us. Wink. Before stepping into the theater I wasn’t sure if DDLJ will still remind me of the boy that I was, way back in 1995.

The DDLJ gen has now made way for the ‘Dev.D’ and the ‘Jab We Met’ bunch of love-struck teens, but last night I was reminded that I am not alone. When Raj says, “Palat,” the grin is still as wide. The ‘chhoti baatein in bade-bade desh,’ still continue unabashed. The patience to sit through a three-hour film might have slightly worn out, but the magical moments of DDLJ still remain, just the way they were, when we first watched it. The entire theater erupted when Raj drops Simran on the dance floor after ‘Ruk ja o dil deewane.’

I remember giving up practicing ‘Papa kehte hain,’ on the guitar because playing the DDLJ tune was much easier, and the girls would gather around me immediately.  That’s all it took for an introvert like me, who was a part of an imaginary group called – ‘United Against Girls,’ to become the center of their attraction. I owe that to you, SRK! Thanks to Set Max, I have continued to watch this eternal love story at every given opportunity. Just that I don’t like it when Simran gets a scolding from her dad for falling in love.

As a staunch believer in the Yash Raj School of Romance, I pine for those love stories that have now made way for the 'Gundays' and 'Kill Dils' of today. Perhaps I am getting way too old for my own good. By the way, SRK did drop by during the special screening – the wit and pompous-with-a-self-depreciatory-tinge of humor seems to have developed some visible cracks. The edginess is missing; perhaps he is ageing too. SRK now mostly talks about his growing kids and respecting women. Not that it isn’t the right thing to do; at least not at his age…

For all I know this could be the beginning of my own sweet mid-life-crisis, or I should attempt to write a new love story that will resonate within the hearts of an entire generation or more. In an era when there is almost no taboo left, what will I write that hasn’t been already attempted? I heard that an enthusiastic filmmaker has bought the adaptation rights for DDLJ. Wonder how will it turn out – obviously none of my business, that too at this hour…

Just a parting thought: Time is such a strange thing; it evokes different feelings when measured in different ways. Two decades, twenty-four months and a thousand weeks. Though they are technically the same thing, and the same span of time, thousand weeks sounds like the masterstroke moment of some ace marketing whizkid. These silly outpourings be damned, I did manage to meet the boy I was, back in 1995 – a hopeless romantic and that still remains!

Thank you, 2013!

What a spectacular year 2013 has been. Not that I made my first 100cr film, but still, have never felt in such a happier space before. Not that I live inside a cake, but you get the drift, na? All my passwords contain the four letters - R, A, N & I. My days begin with a goofy smile & end with aching finger tips. I am writing films & beginning to get paid (albeit thoda) to do so too! Who knew… Hopefully you'll read about my films in gossip mags sometime next year. (Many duas needed) 

Have an answer to the dreaded question, "arey, tum shaadi kab kar rahey ho?." I used to avoid people who used to ask me such questions. I used to not take such people's calls. I used to feel depressed. Not any more. This question excites me, makes me smile & makes me write even more. As a drunk Aamir Khan said in Mangal Pandey - The Rising, "Ab life mein settle ho jaana maangta." 

I don't throw stones at cats anymore. One of my friends told me, "yaar tu badal gaya hai, have never seen you like this." I don't listen to sad songs anymore. I have stopped watching 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham' altogether. I do, sometimes, listen to the 'Bole chudiyaan' song & do a little gig to it when not sober. I still watch Baghban sometimes & cry like a sissy girl. Somethings don't change. But hey, I haven't renewed my membership of the 'Dukhi Dil Association'.

I am broke most of the time, but I smile proudly as if I have just stepped out of my Audi Q7. I dream of going to Baku (Azerbaijan) & owning The Maserati Quattroporte GTS. I know it is silly, but I know it will happen. Because Rani tells me so. She is such a wonderful person, wonder why she sauntered into my life so late. Better late than never. Can't thank her enough. She makes the best Maggi in the world. The bread-butter-jam that she makes should be made the national breakfast, lunch & dinner.

HAHAHA. Just kidding. She also knows how to boil eggs. I taught her. HAHAHA.

Before she kills me, she makes the BESTESTASTIESTAWESOMEST Peshawari Dal in the world. I can kill for that. I can kick a puppy for that. 

Oh wait, I have stopped doing such nasty things. Sorry, Shaktiman.

Have met some really wonderful people this year… People who I will always love, care for and borrow money from (irrespective of me needing the money or not). Found new confidence in the fact that I can write an entire feature film in less than ten days, I kid you not. I barely thought of myself as a writer; but Rani thinks I write really well. So I write for her. I write for her belief that I can write. Most of my life I only thought the only thing I could do best was - drunk dance to 'Sapne mein milti hai'.

I have stopped 'un-friending' and 'report-spamming' people who don't like the films I love. I have learned to look past them. I just pretend they don't exist. I hope they catch cold. I hope a waiter spits into their soup or something. I know it is not a very good thing to do, par kya bachche ki jaan logy kya? Ek saal mein itna ich milenga. Hope this changes next year.

My first film to hopefully (Again, many duas needed) release stars Sholay, Jhankaar Beats, Satya & Old Monk. That makes me feel very happy. I always wanted my first film to star SRK, but I can live without that. Wonder what kind of reviews my film will get. Hope you kind people in Ramgarh will feel proud and cheer and clap when you see my name on the big screen. Hope Taran Adarsh gives it 3.5 stars. Actually I don't care about Taran and his slimy usool and adarsh.

A 3 star review from Rajeev Masand & Anupama Chopra would make me proud though.

Wonder if you all will  'un-friend' and 'report-spam' me if you don't like my film. Will you give me another chance to prove myself? I don't know about all of you, but Rani will. She loves me, na. Poor girl. HAHAHA.

Here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas & a very many Happy New Year! Pray for me, shower me with duas, love and please lend me money when I ask you. HAHAHA.  I am such a cheapskate, na. Hope 2014 changes that about me. I also want to be all rich & classy like all of you. Amen.

Aur kya maangega re bande..,

A Keyrun Rao Original dedicated to Yash uncle's Jab Tak Hai Jaan...

Ek apaahij ko dekh kar kyon shukrguzaar hota hai,
Ek anpadh ke angoothe pe tu aaj bhi toh rota hai
Mat ro ke bataa ke tujhe kya mil gaya hai bande
Sab mila hai jisey, uske baare mein hi tu sochta hai

Aur kya maangega re bande, tere aansoo kahaan hain
Jitna bhi chhipa le tu, tere dard toh aaj bhi yahaan hain
Shaayad lahoo hi nahin bahaa hoga tera kuchh utna
Jitne saare ghaanv aaj bhi mere sard is seene mein hain

Tujhsa udaas koi nahin hai yahaan paar, aaj tu maan le
Tere ghaanv se gehra kisi ka nahin, aaj tu yeh maan le
Jitna zulm chaahe ho tujh pe, jhukna mat kisi haal mein
Chhoti si sabak hai par, yeh tu bas aaj kaise bhi jaan le

Aur kya maangega re bande, tere aansoo ab kahaan hain
Jitna bhi chhipa le tu, tere dard toh aaj bhi yahaan hain

Tera saaya rehta yahin tha, par tu aaj jaane kahaan hai

Ek jawaab chhod gaya tu, sawaal itne saare yahaan hain

Ghaanv tha toh kya, uski nishaniyaan bhi toh hain aaj

Saaye rahey tere, rehta hai un mein bhi toh tu hai aaj

Duur hai tu toh kya, baat aaj bhi teri hi toh rehti hai
Tanha reh gaya tha tab, bheed mein akela hoon aaj...