Kya wo chori thi?

A Keyrun Rao original, dedicated to
Vikramaditya Motwane's debut film 'Udaan'

Chori ka matlab bhi nahin jaanta tha jab
Ek rangeeli pencil churaai school se tab
Ghar pe maar padi bahut, mujhko sharm thi
Maa meri galti ka matlab hi samjhaa deti
Samajh nahin paaya main kya wo chori thi?

Bada hua main, ek achcha dost bhi bana liya
Achchai ka sabak theek se kisi ne nahi diya
Doosron ke liye jo sirf masti ki baat thi
Jaane kyun mujhe padti paapa ki laat thi
Samajh nahin paaya main kya wo chori thi?

Achche-bure ki parakh ab khud karne laga
Maa aur Paapa ke nazron mein wo tha daga
Par bina jaane-samjhe kaise maan loon ye
Ki ek bure insaan ki ye badi kamzori thi
Samajh nahin paaya main kya wo chori thi?

Kuchh saalon mein qafi bada ho gaya main
Chori nahin karta sharaarat nahi karta
Par zehan mein sawaal hamesha rehta hai
Haasil karne ki bhook ab bhi mujh mein thi
Sochta rehta hoon main kya wo chori thi?

Laakhon-karodon ghotaale roz dikhte hain
Sar uthakar chor har jagah ghoomte hain
Maa maine to sirf ek pencil churaayi thi
Sochta hoon usmein aisi kaunsi buraai thi
Kya maine samaaj mein koi aag lagaayi thi?

Tum na wo pencil dila paaye, na wo cycle
Duur se hi apne armaan rondta rehta tha
Kamaaoonga paise anaab shanaab main bhi
Naye naye tarqeeb aksar bunta rehta tha
Gareeb hona hi meri sabse badi khaami thi

Raees zaade kuchh lagte nahin mere saamne
Par gareebi ne meri awaaz dabaai hui thi
Kab tak mujhse bachenege ye log pata nahin
Phir zaroor milenge saare ye yaheen kahin
Tab kahoonga unse ke tumne bhi ki chori thi...

Oh HansiNa!

A short film

Fade in

Two funny guys, Rohan Joshi & Ashish Shakya, humor writers for a TV channel, are sitting on a deadline to come up with an idea for a ‘Reality Show’ & are stuck with shortage of ideas. One gloomy evening they are at a bar getting drunk, watching a game. Someone at the bar walks up to them & requests them to do a stand up act, as he wants to perk up the mood at the bar & increase the footfalls there.

Both Rohan & Ashish are in no mood for anything that involves ‘work’ as they were already stressed out & pissed with their nagging boss, Mrs. Brenda Briganza, whom they hatefully called ‘Bitchwanti’. Rohan is married to Aisha, who is a DJ & is on the go always, which leaves Rohan alone & frustrated most of the time. Ashish lives with his mother who wants him to get married & bring home a ‘bahu’.

Rohan & Ashish hang out together most of the time when they are not home, so much that rumors of they being homo begins to spread at work. But being the funny guys, they laugh it off. The problem at hand is the reality how that they have to crack which is evading them. They seek the advice of their friend Vibhuti, who is a chef, whom they fondly call ‘Chefiney’.

Vibhuti is another joker only that his work doesn’t allow him to hang out with his friends as he is at his busiest when others are chilling out. He recently divorced his wife as her cooking sucked big time & he was fed up of cooking at work & at home too!

On a Monday evening the three of them, Rohan, Ashish & Vibhuti decide to meet up. Then over beer the three of them talk about how their lives suck, all thanks to the respective women in their lives. They go on and on till Rohan & Ashish look at each other & smile. It’s that magic moment when an idea strikes them. It’s revenge time. The three guys huddle up & brainstorm over the potential idea, while the crowd is going apeshit about the world cup match.

INTERVAL

The next day in the office of Brenda Briganza, the two geniuses show up, glowing with the shine of the Eureka moment. Mrs. Briganza, for the first time ever, jumps with joy on hearing the concept. She starts drooling at the very thought of the TRPs the show will generate. She thinks ‘Oh HansiNa’ In search of the funniest beauty in the country, is The Show that will change their fortunes. Bitchwanti doesn’t realize the joke is on her too!

They start the shoot for ‘Oh HansiNa’ & thus begins the most hilarious journey where three guys take their revenge by poking fun & laughing at women & their sense of humor, that too on national TV.

Montage of dumb chicks auditioning for the reality show.

Fade out

*Stand up acts by Hamateurs as the credits roll*

A Keyrun Rao original