Ship of Theseus: Three little boats of cinema paradise rolled into one!

First things first: The tickets of Ship of Theseus aren't all that expensive everywhere, at least not after the opening weekend. If you are borderline broke like me, you can still watch the film for Rs. 150/-. If you're too broke, take the bus or walk, skip the drunky session, smoke Four Square & eat vada pav (KFC is unhealthy anyways & PETA will love you for that) for the next few days a la moi. But don't miss SoT, I am not a beggar, am a requester. It's a rare film to come out of our inane blockbuster circus tent.

Second things second: Hawaai firing & immense respect for director Anand Gandhi & the entire gang who made this film, and also those who got it a theatrical release. Special mention for the man who played the monk (Neeraj Kabi), it was surreal to watch him die... almost.

Now a little about the film, its three segments & how I connected with it at various stages in my life.

Years ago, I had a fatal accident. I almost lost my left leg. The doctors were kind and patient, but I was not. I had all kinds of disturbing thoughts in my head. What if I am never able to walk again? My bastard friends had already started calling me 'Langda Tyagi' (Yaar bhi kaminey). To get rid of that negative space  I came back to Bombay with a crutch & limp like Pran saab (may his soul RIP) in Don. Took up a job here and it needed me to take the local train daily. I could never convince myself to get into the dabba meant for the 'handicapped'. Just couldn't. Well meaning Bombay people in the train used to tell me, "Woh dabbe mein jaao na, aapke jaisa log ke liye hai." I did it once and I broke down. Soon after an old man in the same dabba started laughing at me for being a wuss. FML. I love Bombay!

Dissolve

My life philosophy almost changed when a kind friend gifted me a book by Rumi.  It opened the door of an all new world for me. I started believing in most of his sayings, especially those about love & giving. If not for the filmi keeda having bitten my arse so bad,  I might have turned into a full-time wanderer. The most powerful portion of SoT (for me personally) was that of the monk who would have sold his Ferrari, only that he didn't even have a pair of shoes. But he did have a sense of humour, which I totally loved. I could understand why he would rather die than be treated by medicines that were against his school of thought. Just like I would rather not watch a film at all, than watching a pirated copy of it. Whoa! That sounded deep, but I am deep like that; neck deep in shit almost always.  

Dissolve

Like all those in my age group most of our conversations with our parents revolve around marriage. A few years back it was about me not receiving calls from my relatives. The usual chat with my mom was something like this:

Mom: Hey your chacha was trying to reach you the other day for the Durga namaskara pooja, you didn't answer his call.

Me: I had lost my phone, mom.

Mom: Why do you lose your phone when there is a family function to attend?

Me: Awkward silence.

Mom: Did you save some money this month, we have to...

Me: Hello hello... mom, I can't hear you... *click*

These days me & mom have graduated to talking about the kind of marriage I would prefer. While I am all for a quick, no-fuss, sign-the-legal-papers-and-boom-out-to-the-honeymoon type ceremony, my mom wants me to sit for the yagna-havan-feast-burp-Udipi-style arrangement. Instead of feeding 500-odd people who I have met perhaps once, during my thread ceremony, I would rather save that moolah & buy an island near Bora Bora. Thankfully, my mom has given up on me. As long as I marry, she will be happy. Don't even get me started about dad. He still doesn't know what I do for a living. He also doesn't know how to reply to texts to save his life, while my mom is wondering which Tab to buy, so that she can look up girls for me and my kid bro, on Facebook at leisure. FML.

Dissolve

While there is nothing life changing in Ship of Theseus, there is everything that we need to ask ourselves every now & then, with a pinch of salt. While it takes all the segments seriously, it doesn't mind taking a joke at itself. Sample this line from SoT - "Monks are supposed to be celibates, then why is there so much of intellectual masturbation?" It is laced with such gems throughout. Take it seriously or laugh out aloud, it's your life after all. It is really mind boggling that a film like this got made and got a theatrical release too!  I was also very happy to see Rohit sir's name in the end credits. Watch his extended interview here:

"Ship of Theseus tickets are too expensive yaar"

Looking back, I have never felt sillier about myself when I found myself to be amongst a bunch of people who thought that the ticket of Anand Gandhi's Ship of Theseus was obscenely priced. I even made some wisecrack about how only Aamir & his wife (producer of SoT) will be watching it this weekend. I am so embarrassed about saying such shit, but what to do, I am broke. This post stems from a chat that I was having with my drunky partner and some internal 'khalbali' in 'khopdi ki jhopdi'. No, I still haven't watched the film yet, but I will, as soon as the evil ad agency guy makes me richer by a few hundred rupees.

Just randomly remembered this quote by Shahrukh Khan - "You can deserve me, but you can't afford me."

As of now I can deserve Ship of Theseus, but can't afford it. I am indirectly a part of this film and it is not because the producer Kiran Rao is my namesake. My connect with this film is my recent meeting with its music director Rohit Sharma (fondly known as Rohit sir) and his interview that I did for madaboutmoviez.com Click here for link. It was one of the best interviews I did and received a lot of appreciation from people who I respect a lot. Sadly, that good deed didn't earn me free tickets to watch the film, but what the hell.

Coming back to the point, how expensive is expensive? How do you decide upon the fair value of a ticket? Having always sucked at math, I don't find myself in the position to figure that out. The maximum I have paid for watching a film at the theater is Rs. 4,600. Yes, I watched Gautham Menon's Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya at the theater 23 times, so you do the math. I am stupid, I know and I hate downloading films. As a principle I never watch a film illegally. I buy or borrow DVDs, buy tickets, borrow money to buy tickets, sell my empty beer bottles, write obituaries, and sometimes get to attend special screenings. But piracy -

NO. NEVER. NOT. YOU MOTHERS FATHERS MANNERS THIS? 

Exaggeration apart, the maximum I have spent to watch a film is Rs. 600 - for Vidhu Vinod Chopra's Eklavya, which I totally loved and felt that I got my money's worth. But Eklavya had Amitabh Bachchan & Sanjay Dutt. What does Ship of Theseus have? I know everybody has been raving about watching it and the rest don't give a damn about cinema. Then there are a few crazy SRK fans who are saving money to watch Chennai Express multiple times, despite Rohit Shetty. (Nitin, take that grin off your face.)
  
With Ship of Theseus, I fail to understand the value or muscle that UTV & Kiran Rao have brought to the table that PVR Directors Rare could not. To quote my machcha Sethu, "Ok I know @SOTfilm would never have a mass release& hona bhi nahin chahiye. But it surely deserves more than 6 screens." I would add to that - a ticket price at par with that or perhaps even a little more than the general trash that hits the screens on a regular basis. Screw that, they could have at least released the film in the better half of the month, but alas. I lick my wounds as I type this.

I have put my kidney on Quikr.com and if I get a decent deal I will watch Ship of Theseus one of these days. But I hope some sense prevails and indie film tickets are made accessible to more people, or else we will have to live with more of Rohit Shitty's money-spinning scams. I leave you with the extended interview of Rohit sir, and wish I could charge you 450/- to watch it each time. I know that will not happen in this lifetime and this is the internet, so if nothing, please share the hell outta this post. Thanks.



Love, Magik.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag: Laughs, tears & goosebumps!

If I remember exactly, it was on 13th July, 2001, give or take a few days, when me along with a filmi keeda friend watched Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's directorial debut - Aks. Both of us were mindblown by the badassery of Bachchan saab & Manoj Bajpayee and that rainy night we spent about 3 hours discussing the film, despite the fact that nobody else in the theater that we watched the film in got it. They all hated it. But me & my friend loved it. For weeks we would quote lines from the film to each other while others around us thought that we had lost our marbles. Na koi marta hai, na koi maarta hai; aisa main nahin kehta, tumhaari geeta main likha hai... Aah nostalgia!

But this post is about Mehra's latest offering; a biopic on The Flying Sikh - Milkha Singh. Aptly titled 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag', this is undoubtedly one of the best biopics made in this side of the hemisphere. Even those who know the epic story of the sprinter will be pleasantly surprised by the way the makers have chosen to narrate his story. We live in times where an entire generation (or most of it) will get to know of Milkhaji's life and times after watching this inspirational film. At least I knew only things that were a part of the general knowledge portion of our studies, but having watched BMB, I have new found respect for The Man.

The day I first saw the trailer of BMB, I knew it was a winner of a film. The moment I came to know of the special preview, me along with a fellow film fanatic made a sprint for it. From the word go, I was captivated by what was playing out on the screen. Surprisingly, not for one single moment I thought it was Farhan Akhtar essaying the role of Milkha Singh. He had BECOME the character. And then the filmmaker took over with his craft. With a non-linear style of storytelling the biopic sucked me into its universe so much so that I almost didn't mind the asshole beside me (not my friend) who was going on with his live commentary. And then there was a wailing kid. I wanted to kill all of them, but didn't as I was feeling INSIDE the film.

Prasoon Joshi reclaimed his place in the list of 'People I worship' thanks to his magik in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. What a writer & the lyrics are divine too, so double whammy! There were many scenes where my eyes turned moist, but there two scenes that involved Divya Dutta and Pavan Malhotra where I cried like the baby that was crying in the theater when the film began. There is no point in me telling you what happens in the film, you HAVE to watch it for yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if this film is made tax-free and is made a compulsory watch in the next few days.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag has god-level art direction, editing (P S Bharathi), cinematography (Binod Pradhan) & divine music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. The child artist who plays Milkha junior is a revelation. Mehra's tribute to The Flying Sikh is worth its weight in cinema gold! Full respect to the entire team that created this masterpiece and kudos to Sonam Kapoor for being a part of this film where her screen time is almost as much as Abhay Deol in Raanjhanaa, but she still delivers the goods. Please do watch this film at your earliest possible convenience with you entire family if possible. Take your neighbours and assorted friends to watch it too, but please don't be douchebags and talk during the film. Switch off your mobile phones, sit back and watch the story of a legend of our times unfold & spellbind you.

Pairipauna Mehraji...  

Please remember, zinda hai toh pyaala poora bhar le



Note to self: Likh Keyrun Likh

Lootera: Where love lies, lives & dies

I don't know what is the karmic connection I share with Vikramaditya Motwane, but it is strange how his stories connect with me at some deep personal level. It last happened when I watched his debut film, Udaan;  as it made me revisit my childhood. This time it is love & the way I feel about it, the love as I know it, or at least how I would like it to be felt. As writing about films isn't my way to earn my Old Monk & Classic Milds, I can say what I have to, without caring much about the word count, or what the readers are interested in - the star rating of the review.

As I had said in my Raanjhanaa post, this post also doesn't tell you much about the film. You can only read the thoughts it triggered in my mind & soul. Anyway it is too late for a review, but that's not the point. I have to share this small story with you. Thanks to the internet I happened to interact with a reader of my blog & soon enough after some polite comment exchanges, the conversation became a telephonic one. The reader was oceans away from me, but there was a connect. We used to talk for hours on the phone. It felt just like the way I did when I used to talk to the waves outside Haji Ali.

One fine day when it began to seem like a fragment of my already fertile imagination, I asked the reader if she was for real or was I ready to see a shrink... Well it turned out that she was real & I could save the shrink ka fees for a daru session! Yay!!! All the while I was thinking that all that she said were a bunch of lies. Just like I had lied once. But everything she said was true to the last full stop. Me on the other hand had lied about everything to the girl I thought had fallen in love with. So what if then I was still to grow my first moustache. Varun Shrivastava better known as Ranveer Singh in Lootera brought back those memories.

Another question that I always had, popped up again, thanks to Lootera. Does true love set you free or bind you for good. Pakhi better known as Shotgun Jr or Sonakshi Sinha in Motwane's labour of love brought back that question. Sometimes you fall in love and are tied to it till the end of your life; good, bad or ugly. We can't say when love begins, but we can see when it begins to wear off. But how can love wear off? Was it even love in the first place. The only thing I have seen wear off in my life are my 'sale ka maal' denims. Even my first school crush is permanently etched in my heart, forever.

I am not sure why, but Lootera also reminded me of Kunal Kohli's Fanaa & Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Black, in bits. If you've watched the film, you know what I am talking about. If not, please do watch it. In the melee of 100cr blockbusters & quirky black comedy, here's a film that treads its own ground. It takes its own sweet time to establish the background and once that job is done, it takes a beat and bitchslaps a masterpiece (albeit flawed) in your face, that in its own humble way will be remembered by Pakhi, if nobody else... I sure will remember the 'Last Leaf' till I have completed my time in this blasted space!

One more question that I had seems to be partially answered in Lootera. Hear these two songs:

Itti si hasi, itti si khushi (Barfi!)

Saiyyara (Ek Tha Tiger)

The first one says: 'Aadhi aadhi baant le, aaja dil ki ye zameen...'

The second one says: 'Aasmaan, tera mera hua khwaab ki tarah dhuaan dhuaan'

In love, should we share our dil ka space equally, or fully takeover the 'aasmaan' of your lover...

Another strong thought that came up was - how much hurt will one take in the name of love. I am sure many girls I walked out midway through a date, for not liking Sholay / Jhankaar Beats / Satya, or perhaps not appreciating this gem from Company - Tumse kitna pyaar hai, might want to kill me. How much would it take to want to kill someone for being an asshole, but still be forgiving and embrace him / her thanks to the love you have for him / her...

Till I find out my answers, I leave you with this beautiful gem from Lootera...    

Zinda hoon yaar... qaafi hai! Long live the Amit Trivedi-Amitabh Bhattacharya team!



P.S.: Pardon the rhyming headline, occupational hazard you see ;-)

Golgappe khaate hue...

Bheegi si kuchh woh shaam thi,
yaar bhi saath mein they mere
Ek ghaanv sookha hua sa tha
Bhar aaya aaj seene mein mere

Golgappe khaate hue yaad aayi
Ek muskaan khoyi-murjhaayi hui
Ek daastaan bhooli-bisri si koi
Golgappe khaate sharmaati hui

Aaj ki raat phir kuchh geeli si hai
Rooh sehmi aur chot gehri si hai
Dard jaane kahaan hua hai mujhe
Saans kuchh thami phir kyon hai

Kuchh boond gir gaye aaj phir se
Golgappe khaate hue sadkon par
Kuchh yaadon ki papdi thi shayad
Meri yaadon ke us akeli chhat par

Golgappe khaate hue, tum yaad aaye
Badi muddaton baad, kya tum laut aaye
Phoota hua sa tha woh golgappa mera
Kaise itni yaadein saath mein tum laaye

Moments like these...

A Keyrun Rao original

It is but a moment
And will never come back
The hope of a lifetime
Caught in its own track

Smiles don't last forever
But this moment surely will
The joy that life has in store
You can see it stand still

There is glee in her eyes
Perhaps a lump in her throat
You can't see much of it
Let's still raise her a toast

She sets off on a new journey
Hoping for an eternal bliss
With the one her heart beats for
Sealed with a sweet little kiss

Moments like these we pine for
Moments like these make us smile
When we look back at our life
Trudging along on our last mile.

A humble dedication to a fabulous picture clicked by a dear friend.

Ek 'Rangrez' type gaana likhna hai yaar...

Ever since I heard the 'Rangrez mere' song written by Rajshekhar for Aanand L. Rai's Tanu Weds Manu, composed by Krsna, I have wanted to write something on those lines... A humble attempt, if I may...

Ek naya rang dekha tujh mein...
A Keyrun Rao original

Kaali-safed si hi thi yeh zindagi meri
Jab tak tera yeh rang dekha nahin tha
Laal rang se pyaar ho chala tha mujhe
Jab tak tujh mein nahaaya nahin tha

Ek naya rang dekha tujh mein maine
Zindagi se pyaari, zindagi se bhi zinda
Teri aansuon mein bheega tha ek din
Maut se hua tha main us din sharminda

Tere rang mein naha kar dhul gaya hoon
Aansoo dhul gaye mere kuchh is tarah
Ab muskaanon sa rang chadh gaya hai
Tu hi hai ab se mere jeene ki saari wajah

Andherey aasmaan mein taaron ki tarah
Chaashni mein doobi hui jalebi ki tarah
Tere rangon mein ghul gaya hai aashiq
Lambi raat ki ab shaayd hui hai subah

Shaayad teri rang mein rang gaya hoon
Mere rang ka toh kurta bhi nahin hai ab
Teri rooh ka rang chadh gaya hai mujh pe
Tujhse hi jaane mujhe kyon lagey hain sab

Jab tak tera rang maine dekha nahin tha
Laal rang se pyaar ho chala tha mujhe
Ab saare rang tere mil gaye hain aaj
Bataa kyon main itna na chaahoon tujhe

Ghulam ho chala hoon tere saare rangon ka
Mere rang ab bujh se gaye hain aisa lagta hai
Bas tu chhayi rehti hai mere indradhanush mein
Naye rang ban gaye hain, aisa mujhe lagta hai