Random musings after watching Saket Chaudhary's Shaadi Ke Side Effects

Given the fact that I have still to complete the two scripts that I have been paid to write, I have no business to be writing this piece. In fact I have no business to be watching films at all. There is so much to write and very little time. But practicality has never been one of my virtues. So, if you have paid me to write your film and are seething in anger, reading this, kindly accept my unconditional apologies.

My bond with cinema has been very strong. Being a shy introvert guy with self-esteem issues, cinema has been my guiding force in life. When my friends in school had already enrolled for various coaching classes to become an engineer or an entrepreneur, I enrolled in cinema. Having watched RGV's Satya, I decided to become a gangster like Bhiku Mhatre. Owing to the lack of facial hair & a baritone voice, I settled at being a copywriter after watching Sujoy Ghosh's Jhankaar Beats.

A few years later, I watched Saket Chaudhary's Pyaar Ke Side Effects. After Jhankaar, PKSE was my refresher course of falling in and out of love. Between these two films, I was armed to deal with anything that love had to offer. Not to forget Anant Balani's Mumbai Matinee. Before you mean people start making jokes about me being a 30-year old virgin, let me just thank Mr. Pritish Nandy. I owe you a round, kind sir!

Given this back story, I was obviously looking forward to Shaadi Ke Side Effects for more reasons than one. To quote a famous mathematician (who is also my part-time rugby trainer), “Nothing is certain except for death, taxes & marriage.” I am yet to make any sense of what Mr. Dhanasekaran Kuzhandaisamy Sokkalingam meant when he said that, but I think it is profound. If Anupama Chopra, my erstwhile most favourite reviewer, could rate Gunday over Highway… you get the drift?

Coming back to Shaadi Ke Side Effects, I don't really want to ruin it for you by telling you the plot points, the storyline or any of that. Let me just tell you, if you have just been married, about to marry, divorced, are in love, or planning to fall in love, enrolled in the gym to lose your tummy, watched porn, got drunk & cried yourself to sleep on 14th Feb, or had a morbid dark childhood that involved you eating soggy Parle G biscuits dipped in strawberry-flavoured milk, you will connect with this film. Okay, I could be wrong about the Parle G bit, but the rest is correct.

Shaadi Ke Side Effects is a modern day take on life after tying the knot just like Pyaar Ke Side Effects was a modern day take on life before tying the knot. Many of my friends got married not very long ago and whatever few interactions I had with them, I could almost see playing out in SKSE. One of my best friends, Ashish Shrivastava, was recently blessed with a baby, and I could see him in the character played by Farhan Akhtar. The character played by Vidya Balan reminded me of another friend, Payal Shishodia. Now that I have defamed my dearest friends, let me order some beer… Hahaha

Now my own marriage isn't very far off either. Watching Shaadi Ke Side Effects has prepared me for the trauma and grief that awaits me. Before inviting the wrath of Rani (my better half-to-be-after-my-first-film-goes-on-floors), let me just say that I am sure my journey will be happier. I am not very sure about becoming a father at this moment, but I think I will be a good husband. How difficult is it anyway?

I am an ISO 9001:2008 certified dish washer and some people actually think I write good poetry. My sense of humour… hmmm let's not even go there. As they say in Portuguese, let leaping dogs lie. Also, I suck at remembering dates, but each date is a date, isn't it? Wait that didn't even make any sense. May be I could wax eloquent about my sword swallowing skills. No? Ok.

I am good at saying 'sorry'. With or without meaning it. And I have stopped lying entirely. May be I am lying about that, but what the heck. (That is SKSE in a nutshell)

I must say, what timing Mr. Saket Chaudhari - I fell in love during PKSE, now getting married post SKSE. You will go to hell if you ever make Divorce Ke Side Effects. Enough of this shit, bro. Make something else, na… A murder mystery perhaps. Throw in a divorce angle and BINGO your trilogy is complete! I think it is a damn good idea! Dear Saket, if you are wondering how to get in touch with me for any reason other than hurling abuses at me, please drop in a line in the comments section!

I think I should get back to writing my own scripts, now that I have got this monkey off my chest. To the rest in Ramgarh & thereabouts, I just have to say that give Shaadi Ke Side Effects a chance. Just like you took a chance with your girlfriend who is now your wife / your girlfriend who is somebody else's wife now. To quote the famous mathematician (who is also my part-time rugby trainer), Mr. D. K.  Sokkalingam, "Risk toh Spiderman ko bhi lena padta hai." (Loosely translated - conditions apply.)

I leave you with a song from Shaadi Ke Side Effects, which is basically a poetic way of saying sorry.



Thank you.

Love, Magik.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag: Laughs, tears & goosebumps!

If I remember exactly, it was on 13th July, 2001, give or take a few days, when me along with a filmi keeda friend watched Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's directorial debut - Aks. Both of us were mindblown by the badassery of Bachchan saab & Manoj Bajpayee and that rainy night we spent about 3 hours discussing the film, despite the fact that nobody else in the theater that we watched the film in got it. They all hated it. But me & my friend loved it. For weeks we would quote lines from the film to each other while others around us thought that we had lost our marbles. Na koi marta hai, na koi maarta hai; aisa main nahin kehta, tumhaari geeta main likha hai... Aah nostalgia!

But this post is about Mehra's latest offering; a biopic on The Flying Sikh - Milkha Singh. Aptly titled 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag', this is undoubtedly one of the best biopics made in this side of the hemisphere. Even those who know the epic story of the sprinter will be pleasantly surprised by the way the makers have chosen to narrate his story. We live in times where an entire generation (or most of it) will get to know of Milkhaji's life and times after watching this inspirational film. At least I knew only things that were a part of the general knowledge portion of our studies, but having watched BMB, I have new found respect for The Man.

The day I first saw the trailer of BMB, I knew it was a winner of a film. The moment I came to know of the special preview, me along with a fellow film fanatic made a sprint for it. From the word go, I was captivated by what was playing out on the screen. Surprisingly, not for one single moment I thought it was Farhan Akhtar essaying the role of Milkha Singh. He had BECOME the character. And then the filmmaker took over with his craft. With a non-linear style of storytelling the biopic sucked me into its universe so much so that I almost didn't mind the asshole beside me (not my friend) who was going on with his live commentary. And then there was a wailing kid. I wanted to kill all of them, but didn't as I was feeling INSIDE the film.

Prasoon Joshi reclaimed his place in the list of 'People I worship' thanks to his magik in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. What a writer & the lyrics are divine too, so double whammy! There were many scenes where my eyes turned moist, but there two scenes that involved Divya Dutta and Pavan Malhotra where I cried like the baby that was crying in the theater when the film began. There is no point in me telling you what happens in the film, you HAVE to watch it for yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if this film is made tax-free and is made a compulsory watch in the next few days.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag has god-level art direction, editing (P S Bharathi), cinematography (Binod Pradhan) & divine music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. The child artist who plays Milkha junior is a revelation. Mehra's tribute to The Flying Sikh is worth its weight in cinema gold! Full respect to the entire team that created this masterpiece and kudos to Sonam Kapoor for being a part of this film where her screen time is almost as much as Abhay Deol in Raanjhanaa, but she still delivers the goods. Please do watch this film at your earliest possible convenience with you entire family if possible. Take your neighbours and assorted friends to watch it too, but please don't be douchebags and talk during the film. Switch off your mobile phones, sit back and watch the story of a legend of our times unfold & spellbind you.

Pairipauna Mehraji...  

Please remember, zinda hai toh pyaala poora bhar le



Note to self: Likh Keyrun Likh

Kiski talaash hai...

A Keyrun Rao original dedicated to Manoshi Nath

Sab kuchh paa kar tanha hain,
Tumhe jaane kiski talaash hai
Main khud ko dhoondhta hoon
Tumhe aaj jaane kiski aas hai

Khud ko paaya tha mara hua
Jab tak usne nahin dhoondha
Aaj zinda hone ka ehsaas hai
Bas rooh thoda sa chhila hua

Talaash sab ko hi hai kisi ki
Kya paata hai koi khata hai
Jo bhala hai shayad bura hai
Sabka maalik bas Khuda hai

Maine toh jo bhi paaya hai
Samjha usko meri talaash
Jo na mila itna chaah kar bhi
Kabhi na hua main niraash

Kiski talaash hai socho toh
Tujh mein aur mujh mein
Qaid rehta hai har dum woh
Humein paana hai bas usko