The Lunchbox: A brilliant ode to a city, its citizens & cinema above all!

First things first: I am feeling damn hungry. It was about 1:00am when I left Juhu PVR after watching Ritesh Batra's The Lunchbox. I was wondering if I could buy 'bhurji pav' somewhere...

*Struggling writer's sob story alert*

Then it struck me that I have just about enough money to last me for the next few days before some more money comes on the table. I picked up half a dozen pav at the Juhu Circle bus depot. Have some eggs at home, so the sudden indulgent thought of having 'bhurji pav' at Andheri station was curbed.

*Sob story over*

Throughout the way back home, I just kept thinking about Irrfan Khan, Nimrat Kaur & Nawazuddin Siddiqui. And of course, Ritesh Batra, The 'Phata Poster Nikla Director' this weekend!

As usual, this isn't a review; just some thoughts that came up in my mind while I was watching The Lunchbox, and some of those that are cropping up, as I sat down to write this.

I LOVE BOMBAY... Just like the gazzillion others who have found themselves in this city. I am sure everybody who has been touched by this city has his or her own unique story to share about this magical city of dreams. The way I feel about The Lunchbox is somewhat similar to the way I felt after watching my namesake's - Dhobi Ghat: The Mumbai Diaries. Ritesh Batra's love for Bombay is perhaps just as pure & unique (if not more), as Kiran Rao and yours truly as well. Having been in this city for all these years, I have encountered so many people from other cities proclaiming their undying love for Bombay. Some from UP-Bihar, a few from MP, a handful from Delhi and Chennai etc.

If I recollect properly, I have inherited my love for Bombay from my dad. He left this city midway through his career with so much hate, that the love he had for it found its way into my heart. My growing up years were spent in a chawl in Tilak Nagar (Chembur) & legend has it that the only person who could make smile when I started bawling was none other than - Chhota Rajan (who just happened to be our next door neighbour & hadn't hit Big Ticket back then). There's something about Bombay that has seeped so deep down in my soul, I can somehow (mostly accurately) tell if your love for this city is for real, or you are just faking it. At this point I feel I am giving away way too much info that I have been saving for my script, so I will stop this here. Apologies.

It was midway through The Lunchbox, and I was standing out smoking with my friend, waiting for the interval to end. I was gobsmacked and just couldn't believe that something like this could be ever written on paper. My friend on the other hand insisted that everything was written. I asked her, how can  you write how should Irrfan / Nawaz / Nimrat react to a certain cue? And what about the unsaid words,  the unwritten lines... She interrupted, saying, "Everything was written - all that was said, unsaid, written or unwritten. To save face, all I could tell her that it was a 'back-handed compliment'. She grinned, knowing very well that she caught me off guard. Girls I tell you... grrrr

It has been over an hour now since I watched The Lunchbox and I still can't get around to believe that the damn thing was scripted. HOW THE F*%$? I would like to believe that some lucky guy with a high-end spy cam just managed to be there, where things were happening & Lord CineIndra, perhaps pissed by the 100cr blockbusters decided to show us mortals how the hell it is all done. No perversion, no cheap gimmickry, no flying Scorpios or dancing lungis. May be Mr Batra was smoking something interesting that arrived from the hills? He doesn't look like one of those tokers that I have had the misfortune of meeting in the recent past. I think Mr Batra is hopelessly in love with Bombay. Way more than me or my namesake, Kiran Rao.

Don't even get me started about the casting of The Lunchbox. It is the stuff indie wet-dreams are made of. Irrfan keeps getting better, and same is the case with Nawazuddin, but Nimrat took the film to some other level of awesomeness. One would sell a kidney or other vital organ just to see Irrfan & Nawaz in a frame, but who knew I would sell my (sell-out) scripts outside Chai Coffi (Versova) for 100 bucks, just so that I can cast her in ONE film that I make, before I say "Pack up" once & for all. Thanks for Nimrat, Mr Batra!

One of the gazzabazzamillizillion portions that stood out in the film was a sequence when they show a 'dabbawala' being shot while he is going about doing his Harvard-approved-US President-certified daily job. I once got into a scuffle in a local train, and years later wanted to shoot that scene for a short film that I was trying to make. I tried a lot, but then eventually gave up. I thought there is NOBODY who can shoot in a crowded train coming to a halt at a station bustling with people. To accomplish that task, either you should be GOD ALMIGHTY himself, or your last name should be Thackeray, or you should be the love-child of RGV and Anurag Kashyap. If none of those, then I guess you HAVE to be Ritesh Batra at the very effing least.

There are many moments in The Lunchbox... so many of them, that you will feel like revisiting the film for, every now and then. Just the way you feel for a dear old friend who always has interesting stories to tell. There are few exchanged glances, some moments of solitude, some moments of catharsis and perhaps the entire spectrum of magical moments that make cinema what it is for us cinema lovers. I am not talking about the lungi dancers, shirtless super-cop lovers and their ilk. I am talking about those of us, who love cinema in its purest form, the way Gods would have perhaps scripted, shot & edited.

Before I call it a day, I leave you with this pic of my past mid-night snack. Jalo salon! :D

 
  

Ship of Theseus: Three little boats of cinema paradise rolled into one!

First things first: The tickets of Ship of Theseus aren't all that expensive everywhere, at least not after the opening weekend. If you are borderline broke like me, you can still watch the film for Rs. 150/-. If you're too broke, take the bus or walk, skip the drunky session, smoke Four Square & eat vada pav (KFC is unhealthy anyways & PETA will love you for that) for the next few days a la moi. But don't miss SoT, I am not a beggar, am a requester. It's a rare film to come out of our inane blockbuster circus tent.

Second things second: Hawaai firing & immense respect for director Anand Gandhi & the entire gang who made this film, and also those who got it a theatrical release. Special mention for the man who played the monk (Neeraj Kabi), it was surreal to watch him die... almost.

Now a little about the film, its three segments & how I connected with it at various stages in my life.

Years ago, I had a fatal accident. I almost lost my left leg. The doctors were kind and patient, but I was not. I had all kinds of disturbing thoughts in my head. What if I am never able to walk again? My bastard friends had already started calling me 'Langda Tyagi' (Yaar bhi kaminey). To get rid of that negative space  I came back to Bombay with a crutch & limp like Pran saab (may his soul RIP) in Don. Took up a job here and it needed me to take the local train daily. I could never convince myself to get into the dabba meant for the 'handicapped'. Just couldn't. Well meaning Bombay people in the train used to tell me, "Woh dabbe mein jaao na, aapke jaisa log ke liye hai." I did it once and I broke down. Soon after an old man in the same dabba started laughing at me for being a wuss. FML. I love Bombay!

Dissolve

My life philosophy almost changed when a kind friend gifted me a book by Rumi.  It opened the door of an all new world for me. I started believing in most of his sayings, especially those about love & giving. If not for the filmi keeda having bitten my arse so bad,  I might have turned into a full-time wanderer. The most powerful portion of SoT (for me personally) was that of the monk who would have sold his Ferrari, only that he didn't even have a pair of shoes. But he did have a sense of humour, which I totally loved. I could understand why he would rather die than be treated by medicines that were against his school of thought. Just like I would rather not watch a film at all, than watching a pirated copy of it. Whoa! That sounded deep, but I am deep like that; neck deep in shit almost always.  

Dissolve

Like all those in my age group most of our conversations with our parents revolve around marriage. A few years back it was about me not receiving calls from my relatives. The usual chat with my mom was something like this:

Mom: Hey your chacha was trying to reach you the other day for the Durga namaskara pooja, you didn't answer his call.

Me: I had lost my phone, mom.

Mom: Why do you lose your phone when there is a family function to attend?

Me: Awkward silence.

Mom: Did you save some money this month, we have to...

Me: Hello hello... mom, I can't hear you... *click*

These days me & mom have graduated to talking about the kind of marriage I would prefer. While I am all for a quick, no-fuss, sign-the-legal-papers-and-boom-out-to-the-honeymoon type ceremony, my mom wants me to sit for the yagna-havan-feast-burp-Udipi-style arrangement. Instead of feeding 500-odd people who I have met perhaps once, during my thread ceremony, I would rather save that moolah & buy an island near Bora Bora. Thankfully, my mom has given up on me. As long as I marry, she will be happy. Don't even get me started about dad. He still doesn't know what I do for a living. He also doesn't know how to reply to texts to save his life, while my mom is wondering which Tab to buy, so that she can look up girls for me and my kid bro, on Facebook at leisure. FML.

Dissolve

While there is nothing life changing in Ship of Theseus, there is everything that we need to ask ourselves every now & then, with a pinch of salt. While it takes all the segments seriously, it doesn't mind taking a joke at itself. Sample this line from SoT - "Monks are supposed to be celibates, then why is there so much of intellectual masturbation?" It is laced with such gems throughout. Take it seriously or laugh out aloud, it's your life after all. It is really mind boggling that a film like this got made and got a theatrical release too!  I was also very happy to see Rohit sir's name in the end credits. Watch his extended interview here:

"Ship of Theseus tickets are too expensive yaar"

Looking back, I have never felt sillier about myself when I found myself to be amongst a bunch of people who thought that the ticket of Anand Gandhi's Ship of Theseus was obscenely priced. I even made some wisecrack about how only Aamir & his wife (producer of SoT) will be watching it this weekend. I am so embarrassed about saying such shit, but what to do, I am broke. This post stems from a chat that I was having with my drunky partner and some internal 'khalbali' in 'khopdi ki jhopdi'. No, I still haven't watched the film yet, but I will, as soon as the evil ad agency guy makes me richer by a few hundred rupees.

Just randomly remembered this quote by Shahrukh Khan - "You can deserve me, but you can't afford me."

As of now I can deserve Ship of Theseus, but can't afford it. I am indirectly a part of this film and it is not because the producer Kiran Rao is my namesake. My connect with this film is my recent meeting with its music director Rohit Sharma (fondly known as Rohit sir) and his interview that I did for madaboutmoviez.com Click here for link. It was one of the best interviews I did and received a lot of appreciation from people who I respect a lot. Sadly, that good deed didn't earn me free tickets to watch the film, but what the hell.

Coming back to the point, how expensive is expensive? How do you decide upon the fair value of a ticket? Having always sucked at math, I don't find myself in the position to figure that out. The maximum I have paid for watching a film at the theater is Rs. 4,600. Yes, I watched Gautham Menon's Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya at the theater 23 times, so you do the math. I am stupid, I know and I hate downloading films. As a principle I never watch a film illegally. I buy or borrow DVDs, buy tickets, borrow money to buy tickets, sell my empty beer bottles, write obituaries, and sometimes get to attend special screenings. But piracy -

NO. NEVER. NOT. YOU MOTHERS FATHERS MANNERS THIS? 

Exaggeration apart, the maximum I have spent to watch a film is Rs. 600 - for Vidhu Vinod Chopra's Eklavya, which I totally loved and felt that I got my money's worth. But Eklavya had Amitabh Bachchan & Sanjay Dutt. What does Ship of Theseus have? I know everybody has been raving about watching it and the rest don't give a damn about cinema. Then there are a few crazy SRK fans who are saving money to watch Chennai Express multiple times, despite Rohit Shetty. (Nitin, take that grin off your face.)
  
With Ship of Theseus, I fail to understand the value or muscle that UTV & Kiran Rao have brought to the table that PVR Directors Rare could not. To quote my machcha Sethu, "Ok I know @SOTfilm would never have a mass release& hona bhi nahin chahiye. But it surely deserves more than 6 screens." I would add to that - a ticket price at par with that or perhaps even a little more than the general trash that hits the screens on a regular basis. Screw that, they could have at least released the film in the better half of the month, but alas. I lick my wounds as I type this.

I have put my kidney on Quikr.com and if I get a decent deal I will watch Ship of Theseus one of these days. But I hope some sense prevails and indie film tickets are made accessible to more people, or else we will have to live with more of Rohit Shitty's money-spinning scams. I leave you with the extended interview of Rohit sir, and wish I could charge you 450/- to watch it each time. I know that will not happen in this lifetime and this is the internet, so if nothing, please share the hell outta this post. Thanks.



Love, Magik.